Times and Feelings

I thought some might be interested in what is going on for us this Thursday. To put it in print, it is very simple. I report to Radiology to be injected with the dye for the sentinal node biopsy at 9:15 a.m. My surgery is on the books for 2 p.m. My only complaint is that I anticipate being hungry by 2, though some have suggested I will have other things on my mind. Probably so. But, 2:00?? (If I have to wait 6 hours like I did for my first biopsy...wheee!)

Someone asked me the other day how I was feeling about the surgery itself. I am really am not that nervous about going under anasthesia...in this case in particular, I feel much worse for Mark, who has to wait. I am nervous about the results of the node biopsy, and not so crazy about knowing I will be dealing with that information coming out of anasthesia. I always get so emotional coming out, that anticipating hearing that information in that state....I am kinda dreading it. But, again, I feel worse for Mark, hearing it first, and hearing it alone.

For all my sense of calm going in, I must admit I get rather panicky once there, too. And, for all my calm, Mark has to be there to help me wake up, which seems hard for me. They say it is because I am a red head, and more sensitive to the drugs. And, it is kind of weird knowing I am going to sleep not knowing for sure if I will have a breast when I wake up. I expect to have one...this is supposed to be a lumpectomy, but if they cannot clear the margins, they will change course. "Surprise." Sigh...talk about the possibility of unexpected surprises.

But, overall, I am fine. Reallys! Thanks for your prayers!