Grateful to be Better

Since my last post, I am feeling much better. I would have blogged that yesterday, but parenthood called and fortunately, I felt good enough to answer. My biggest upset was not my stomach, but a moment in which Annaleigh got away from me, and my heart stopped. She is fine; my heart is still recovering.

I am not an expert on stomach acid or heartburn, so I am not sure what is still lingering. Whatever it is, it is reduced enough where I am so much better, but I am still being careful. And, for me, I am up early as it started to reappear. It does look like carbonated drinks are out of any near future in that they seem to eat their way down to my stomach. Ouch!

I have to confess I have struggled with a little annoyance...one day miserable, the next day functioning relatively well. Was it sleeping on the couch with my head elevated? Is it truly the nature of chemo, that it just takes time to get through your system, and there IS that magic moment that one is okay? I am more grateful than annoyed, and determined to be. In fact, I am annoyed that I am even that slightest bit annoyed. How easy is gratitude and how hard can I make it?
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Also in my last post, I mentioned that I was asking Jesus to come close. In my devotional book that night, the focus was on Jesus, our Immanuel--God with us. COME to be with us. And, it was also on being thankful...on accepting what He has allowed to come to us that day so that we can experience Him, either in darkness or in thankfulness. It was a great answer to that prayer.

In responding to the first part of this blog, perhaps this is part of the journey...learning to experience Him in gratitude, rather than darkness. Practicing putting aside those human annoyances and impatient feelings that obscure my vision of Him. Perhaps that should be today's goal: Find gratitude and see Jesus.