Celebrating Halfway
I go for my fourth treatment tomorrow. It will be a fun day, with two friends who have been down this path. It will also be my last treatment of the Adriamyacin and Cytoxin recipe. Then, on to Taxol. Thanks to everyone who has prayed me through this first half of my treatment. It is hard to believe I am halfway done!
__________
I often find myself making the unnecessary observation to my husband that "cancer is expensive." At times, that is a bigger stresser than the illness itself. I am NOT soliciting funds, just stating facts. For example, each treatment cycle involves six different medicines to offset the chemotherapy. And, one of those medicines involves 3 pills that are a smidge over 30.00 a piece after insurance. (There are persons I know who have run into much more expensive medications, i.e., 1500.00 per pill, so that helps me not go too far into the pity party.) Along with the stress is a bit of guilt as well...it is my illness, afterall, that is costing my family so much.
The thing I find ironic about the financial pressure is that I have a very distinct memory of being in junior high English class and having the discussion about "what would you do if you found you had only 6 months to live?" (Why that was assigned to the English curriculum, I don't know!) At any rate, I remember the thoughts...traveling to see family; traveling to see the world, etc.
I would like to say that I have advanced in thought since 8th grade. And I have, to the extent that I certainly did not expect to travel to Europe when I found my lump (though I would make the sacrifice and go, should someone send me, haha.) On the other hand, that long ago discussion helped to form me. There are some decisions I have chosen to afford, like the Mother-Daughter pictures, because "afterall, this is cancer." But there are some things that I find myself sincerely wishing, and well...it will just have to wait. For example, I would love to see family, but they are at a minimum, 17 hours away.
So, thus, I am finding that 8th grade mentality does not factor in the facts of cancer: small windows of time in which one feels good enough to travel, and the fact that financial resources primarily go to medicine and doctor bills. It is a bit frustrating, feeling like I have to wait to apply the lessons I am now learning--i.e., the importance of family and spending time with them TODAY.
But, another lesson I guess is all about trust. So, I guess I will have to apply that too, and wait patiently to see family. And, maybe in time, Europe.
__________
I often find myself making the unnecessary observation to my husband that "cancer is expensive." At times, that is a bigger stresser than the illness itself. I am NOT soliciting funds, just stating facts. For example, each treatment cycle involves six different medicines to offset the chemotherapy. And, one of those medicines involves 3 pills that are a smidge over 30.00 a piece after insurance. (There are persons I know who have run into much more expensive medications, i.e., 1500.00 per pill, so that helps me not go too far into the pity party.) Along with the stress is a bit of guilt as well...it is my illness, afterall, that is costing my family so much.
The thing I find ironic about the financial pressure is that I have a very distinct memory of being in junior high English class and having the discussion about "what would you do if you found you had only 6 months to live?" (Why that was assigned to the English curriculum, I don't know!) At any rate, I remember the thoughts...traveling to see family; traveling to see the world, etc.
I would like to say that I have advanced in thought since 8th grade. And I have, to the extent that I certainly did not expect to travel to Europe when I found my lump (though I would make the sacrifice and go, should someone send me, haha.) On the other hand, that long ago discussion helped to form me. There are some decisions I have chosen to afford, like the Mother-Daughter pictures, because "afterall, this is cancer." But there are some things that I find myself sincerely wishing, and well...it will just have to wait. For example, I would love to see family, but they are at a minimum, 17 hours away.
So, thus, I am finding that 8th grade mentality does not factor in the facts of cancer: small windows of time in which one feels good enough to travel, and the fact that financial resources primarily go to medicine and doctor bills. It is a bit frustrating, feeling like I have to wait to apply the lessons I am now learning--i.e., the importance of family and spending time with them TODAY.
But, another lesson I guess is all about trust. So, I guess I will have to apply that too, and wait patiently to see family. And, maybe in time, Europe.
posted by Beverly @ 3:38 PM
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