War or Peace?

I find it interesting that my cancer journey holds a certain tension. On one hand, I think and talk in terms of fighting my cancer. I want to do everything I can...prayer, optomism, chemotherapy, surgery, exercise, diet...to beat the cancer that has tried to grow inside of my body. I want to cooperate to fullest extend to beat this thing.

On the other hand, I talk and think in terms of cancer being a gift. It is not a gift I may have had the wisdom to choose, and as my friend says, it is a harsh gift, but it is a gift, nonetheless. Mark and I have been given the opportunity to be reminded to value life, love our girls, and see the small--yet huge--acts and items of beauty and love around us. I have described my journey as one that is rich, and that I would not necessarily turn the journey down if it were offered again. I believe that is true.

So, am I at war or peace with my cancer? Both. Despite the vast contrast, both.