Out -n- About
Out and about...
2 steps forward, one step back...
White + red = strawberry blonde?
This weekend I have finally gotten out a little. Our Bible class went to May Farm, which is a local petting farm with goats, llamas, sheep, a pig, birds, rabbits, chickens, donkeys, etc. Mark and I had the goal that I would go, and I did. It was really fun, though I am still pretty cautious. Last night I was pretty sore, though, and when we got home, I HAD to rest. But, it was a goal met!
This morning, Sunday morning: yikes. Our family didn't do so well, though it was not a complete defeat, either. I cannot explain it, but I was overwhelmed about returning to church, so last night I opted not to go. I think it is because I am still in pain, and the thought of visiting with lots of people and trying to figure out whether to be honest about it or cheerful--or cheerfully honest--when instead I am feeling kind of like crying for the persistance of the pain...it just seemed too much. (Let me hasten to add that up until this current situation, talking with the people at church has been tremendously strengthening! I have loved it!)
Well, anyway, Annaleigh did NOT want to go to church without Mom. Dad insisted Annaleigh go...and there was the proverbial locking of the horns, with a bit of 4 year old stubbornness thrown in. So, I chose to compromise. I rode into church with them, and then drove myself (the first time since surgery) to Starbucks, and went back to the church parking lot and read and then did some Bible study. It was pleasant, though the entire context of the morning's upset, pain, and not being in church rather robbed the experience of being thoroughly wonderful.
In Annaleigh's defense, though...to a 4 year old, it must seem that Mom's boo-boo and absence from church has been FOREVER. Throw in the fact that she has a cold, and who hasn't felt awful in the morning with a cold, even when over the worst of it? Add in all of the things she cannot verbalize...well, a bit of a melt down seems reasonable, especially considering how happy she has been throughout this entire journey. It is all I can do to NOT say, "poor baby!" In reality, I think that phrase is rightfully extended to my husband, who is trying to manuever through breast cancer within a household of 3 females, even if 2 are pre-schoolers!
On another subject, a friend noticed that my hair is growing back. I thought my hat was askew, but she could tell from what was peeking out from the sides. I lifted up my hat and asked her what color it was looking like...lots of white, with some red. Strawberry blonde? We'll see.
So, overall: I am definitely better, but still hurting (about a 3 on the pain scale). There are some moments in which I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and other moments I definitely know I am in the here and now, pain wise. Three steps forward, two back, but still moving ahead!
2 steps forward, one step back...
White + red = strawberry blonde?
This weekend I have finally gotten out a little. Our Bible class went to May Farm, which is a local petting farm with goats, llamas, sheep, a pig, birds, rabbits, chickens, donkeys, etc. Mark and I had the goal that I would go, and I did. It was really fun, though I am still pretty cautious. Last night I was pretty sore, though, and when we got home, I HAD to rest. But, it was a goal met!
This morning, Sunday morning: yikes. Our family didn't do so well, though it was not a complete defeat, either. I cannot explain it, but I was overwhelmed about returning to church, so last night I opted not to go. I think it is because I am still in pain, and the thought of visiting with lots of people and trying to figure out whether to be honest about it or cheerful--or cheerfully honest--when instead I am feeling kind of like crying for the persistance of the pain...it just seemed too much. (Let me hasten to add that up until this current situation, talking with the people at church has been tremendously strengthening! I have loved it!)
Well, anyway, Annaleigh did NOT want to go to church without Mom. Dad insisted Annaleigh go...and there was the proverbial locking of the horns, with a bit of 4 year old stubbornness thrown in. So, I chose to compromise. I rode into church with them, and then drove myself (the first time since surgery) to Starbucks, and went back to the church parking lot and read and then did some Bible study. It was pleasant, though the entire context of the morning's upset, pain, and not being in church rather robbed the experience of being thoroughly wonderful.
In Annaleigh's defense, though...to a 4 year old, it must seem that Mom's boo-boo and absence from church has been FOREVER. Throw in the fact that she has a cold, and who hasn't felt awful in the morning with a cold, even when over the worst of it? Add in all of the things she cannot verbalize...well, a bit of a melt down seems reasonable, especially considering how happy she has been throughout this entire journey. It is all I can do to NOT say, "poor baby!" In reality, I think that phrase is rightfully extended to my husband, who is trying to manuever through breast cancer within a household of 3 females, even if 2 are pre-schoolers!
On another subject, a friend noticed that my hair is growing back. I thought my hat was askew, but she could tell from what was peeking out from the sides. I lifted up my hat and asked her what color it was looking like...lots of white, with some red. Strawberry blonde? We'll see.
So, overall: I am definitely better, but still hurting (about a 3 on the pain scale). There are some moments in which I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and other moments I definitely know I am in the here and now, pain wise. Three steps forward, two back, but still moving ahead!
posted by Beverly @ 6:49 PM
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