A Very Good Day
Today has been a very good day. The girls and I had Mother-Daughter pictures taken this morning. When I made the appointment I was not being fatalistic, but I did want to get some done before my hair fell out. Local photographer, Aaron Winters, took them. We did them outside at a beautiful Episcopal church. I am hopeful we got some good shots.
Afterwards, I took the girls to McDonald's. They played well, and I had fun going in to rescue Ellabeth who had not appeared for quite some time. If you have never been up in the playland tubes, I highly recommend it. It is hard on the knees, but otherwise fun. And rather disorienting. You should be impressed that your kiddos come out at all! I also recommend the new Asian Salad. Quite tasty!
As I left, I felt an awareness of being "cancer free". It felt good! It poses a question though: At the point where I am at, when I am essentially cancer-free but the evidence of my cancer will soon be visible to everyone, do I tell folks I HAVE breast cancer, or HAD breast cancer?
I am impacted by the freedom I have to feel more freely, now that I am surgically clean of the cancer cells. I never "felt" like I had cancer...and only when I found out the nodes and margins were clear, did my feelings about being a person with cancer catch up. My defenses were up pretty high, I think, but I think that is o.k. I think those defenses are designed by God for a purpose. They allow us to ignore fear and focus on God and hope. Though, if you have read some of my past entries, I was not totally fear-free. If you can sum that up more clearly and concisely for me, please do!
We see the Oncologist tomorrow, and oddly enough, I am looking forward to it. At this exact moment, anyway.
May God grant you a very good day, too.
Afterwards, I took the girls to McDonald's. They played well, and I had fun going in to rescue Ellabeth who had not appeared for quite some time. If you have never been up in the playland tubes, I highly recommend it. It is hard on the knees, but otherwise fun. And rather disorienting. You should be impressed that your kiddos come out at all! I also recommend the new Asian Salad. Quite tasty!
As I left, I felt an awareness of being "cancer free". It felt good! It poses a question though: At the point where I am at, when I am essentially cancer-free but the evidence of my cancer will soon be visible to everyone, do I tell folks I HAVE breast cancer, or HAD breast cancer?
I am impacted by the freedom I have to feel more freely, now that I am surgically clean of the cancer cells. I never "felt" like I had cancer...and only when I found out the nodes and margins were clear, did my feelings about being a person with cancer catch up. My defenses were up pretty high, I think, but I think that is o.k. I think those defenses are designed by God for a purpose. They allow us to ignore fear and focus on God and hope. Though, if you have read some of my past entries, I was not totally fear-free. If you can sum that up more clearly and concisely for me, please do!
We see the Oncologist tomorrow, and oddly enough, I am looking forward to it. At this exact moment, anyway.
May God grant you a very good day, too.
posted by Beverly @ 2:56 PM
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